Friday, December 30, 2016

What may be the most important video I publish...

There is something I have been needing to get off my chest for about 13 years, and it has been really burning at me since I began recording audio for Skeptophany. (Computer is still in the shop, btw.)

All I can say is, I seem to have released so many years of tension by recording it, and my health has improved suddenly. Part of that is also my body being so close to "normal" after years of physical therapy.

My face is even very close to being symmetrical! I have repeatedly attempted to attach two photos representing this to the Blogger app. That hasn't worked, so if there are photos, that means the app I have replaced it with, Bloggeroid has shown its superiority once more!)





My feet are also better at footing, by the way, after at least a year of work on the toes. There is also more room in my body cavity, it is easier to breathe, speak, and get food down.

The contents of the video mainly concerns my recounting of events that happened for 12 days, very intense horror movie-grade institutional abuse. I never got into it on the podcast, and it hasn't properly had a chance to be published.

It is one of the main reasons I discovered that suggestion and other inner processes, when used therapeutically, can reverse intense effects of trauma, like conversion disorder, and other perceptions.

I have had difficulty uploading this before, but it is making progress on the laptop I am borrowing. (Have been typing this over and over on my phone, hence I downloaded Bloggeroid to actually publish it.)

It is a long video, and I will make it significantly shorter because editing. I had long considered editing it before uploading it, but decided to tough it out. I will have it figured out one of these days.

The mental/bodily tension that I released by recording this video seems to be "in limbo" until it is published.
It has been uploading for days, I had been hoping it might be up in time for Calendar Flip day, but no biggie. The best things are worth waiting to upload. I have not actually watched it yet, but don't think I will have to shoot any additional video.

Just looking forward to moving forward after this video is finished. It has been consuming my mind since last video, and fight it as I might, as soon as things slowed down this month, I could think of nothing else.

I have been reluctant, thinking of this as selfish, but have needed to do this for years after being told for so long to forget it and pretend like it never happened. I can't let them win. There is something to be learned from self-erasure and almost losing your memory and sense of who you were.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

I admit, I've been fighting it, but...

Now that I haven't been insanely busy and fatigued, I have had time to figure out what has been stopping me, regarding my blog/video productivity. My next video will be somewhat different than the one I originally envisioned in October. I am quite enthusiastic about its release. Let's just say that my health may improve just by publishing it.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

There are yet more posts and videos, whenever I am stronger

On this blog, I will type a few sentences and then save as draft. I almost never seem to be able to have the energy to finish because I spend what little energy I have on other things. This blog has been full of drafts since the beginning, it's not as empty as it seems.

I want so badly to be able to hold myself in position long enough to type a paragraph. Using my phone to do this, I have been deprived of sleep way too long, but my laptop is in the shop finally, so I hope it gets working again soon!
I would try editing videos today, or shoot videos, but need to take a day off to rest. I am so exhausted by weeks of no sleep from excessive work. Many days I wake up, leave the house, come back, have dinner, and go right back to sleep.

In reference to my last blog post, which is a draft so you cant read it yet, I am probably not even going to my gym as much as Lindy West is.

So, this is one of those mobile phone posts to tell you that I am still here and have not forgotten about this,blog,or my videos!