Transcript of 'Another Kind of Mental Development, Discovering my Extreme Physical Condition, and Making Videos!'

It is amazing to think that for most of my life, such a science-minded person as myself had no idea that I was living with serious chronic pain, etc. One of the points I want to drive home on this channel is that there is a difference between intelligence and awareness of what one is experiencing every moment. It is from here that we can cultivate other aspects of our minds.
` I also spend some time describing what's been going on in the video-making front. You can watch, or read the transcript below:


(By the way, I apologize for the background noise from the refrigerator and such. I can't even understand what I'm saying in the video when played on the giant speakers in that same room, because then the background noise has doubled! I will be sure to use a better microphone in the future. If you're having any difficulty, this should help:)

Opening: A few seconds of partial eclipse through solar goggles. "There we go!"

Shot of a table in front of a brown leather-ish couch, at night, with myself wearing navy blue shirt, and open laptop on the table. I'm doing well to keep my balance, leaning with my right arm against a small suitcase next to me.
` The grip from one of my trekking poles is visible over the back of the couch. Alas, I don't speak very loudly against the background noise for these few seconds:

"Tis allegedly I, Spoony! I have good news and bad news. The good news is, I'm making more videos. The bad news is, when editing this video, I discovered that YouTube video editor is going away on September 20th, so I have until then to edit all my video clips. I don't think it's gonna happen."

Close-up of owl, moving its head side-to-side, crows can be heard in the background.

New Video on Developing Awareness and Bizarre Self-Discovery!

Developing one's conscious awareness is a different element from intellect, but both are essential for self-awareness. Case in point: I my scientific and critical understanding of the world have developed long before I was aware that I was limping around in constant pain.
` It's a long story, which I discussed at length in my last post.
` Not surprisingly, that's part of why making videos seems so difficult, which I also describe. But I have been hard at work, and show a few bits of various video clips I intend for future videos.

I haven't quite completed the transcript, but that's coming next. It has a long enough title, though, which you can click to watch:
Another Kind of Mental Development, Discovering my Extreme Physical Condition, and Making Videos!
And here's a high-resolution image of the title card I made for it:

...And this Cretaceous dinosaur and plant life have what to do with this video?

There are several interesting things in this video, including a view from a helicopter, a cute owl, the eclipse, etc, however, the dromaeosaur is a lie! I simply like drawing them, especially in margins.

This title card had a lot of blank space, so... why not? I've never done a color gel pen dromaeosaur! The scanner didn't get the colors right, though. I couldn't get enough light to take a clear photo, either.

I'll have to take a photo when the sun is out, as it is raining today, to my great astonishment. If you can call it that. It hasn't 'rained' since June 17, so I'm not complaining. Neither are the plants.

Fighting For Self-Awareness And Autonomy - A Good Chunk of My Story

September 2010. I made it, but Violet did not.

What motivates me to want to speak about inner space and the mind's deepest realms? What has made me want to explore those places? Why are they important to me? Why do I try so hard? Because, so many people have tried to stop me.

` Though I was indeed just making videos to race the deadline, something came up, and I needed to write a bunch of stuff, which I have been since that last post. Part of it concerns some things I want to discuss on my YouTube channel anyway, so I thought this would be an ideal place to share it.

I have already talked about the 2003 "Gaslighting Extravaganza" on my YouTube channel. This was an incident where I was drugged, tortured, sexually assaulted, locked up, and then my mom, boyfriend and some other people threatened me if I called the police. I developed numbness in various parts of my body (called "conversion disorder" or "functional neurological symptom disorder") after months of this abuse from authority figures and supposed loved ones. I did call the police this year finally.

When I went to my first skeptic's conference (The Amazing Meeting) in 2012, I did not know that I was seriously physically handicapped and in chronic pain. I had been injured many times in my life, especially a disfiguring foot injury when I was 14, which I was actually punished for having and my mom and dad both made it worse, and then punished me for it being worse.

` They didn't want me to get better, they just wanted me to stop complaining about it. They refused to take me to a doctor for almost any reason, ever, and told me to never tell a doctor about these things because it was "inappropriate" or "in the past".

` At age 7 or 8 I was so stressed out that I started to constantly scrunch up my abdominal muscles until it became constant. Later adding the foot injury caused me to put all my weight on my abdomen instead of my back, so that I was squishing all my guts up into my chest cavity, and it hurt constantly.
` It was hard to eat anything, and I was often vomiting and burping and rubbing my abdomen, which I was also punished and made fun of for. I routinely got in trouble for having trouble eating and for things I did because of low blood sugar (not to mention, sleep deprivation). My stomach was partly herniated at the top, causing reflux. I also had a lot of reflux from my upper intestines into my stomach.
` I still do a little, actually, and I must use conscious effort to keep my abdomen abdomen-shaped and my neck neck-shaped. I hold my head tilted to the right because that's the only way to compensate for my neck and eye muscles becoming asymmetrical from tilting my head to the left for most of my life. But I'm getting ahead of myself:

Almost done with next video, but I'm going to have to re-upload the rest of my clips...

As you can see, I've been hard at work (yes, even in the early morning) uploading more video clips to YouTube, with 447 at the moment.
` I've almost got my most recent video edited, from clips I've uploaded to YouTube.
` Only problem is, I won't be able to combine these clips anymore after September 20th, because YouTube video editor is simply being removed from YouTube on that date.

Yes, really.

If I'd have known that, I would have taken a different strategy to making videos. But I didn't learn of it at all until I actually clicked on YouTube video editor for the first time since January.
` I should have plenty of time to edit this video, assuming I've figured out how to overcome the problems I've been having with the editor by copying my clips over again and trying again. (You can see that by looking at the titles.)

I also must confess that during this incredibly hot summer (without air conditioning, mind you), I've had a number of physical and emotional obstacles to overcome. It's especially tiring to hold myself upright in front of the computer. I'm doing better and better at that every day.
` The better I can hold myself upright, using a trekking pole or otherwise, the more emotionally strong and independent I can feel. It's having a profound effect on my personality.
` It is helping me to process the emotions that my body has been carrying around in it since I was injured traumatically and how supposed loved ones terrorized, dehumanized and demonized me for the swelling, inability to walk for several weeks, and developing permanent physical disabilities and living in constant pain for most of my life.

Apparently, I'm just a terrible, terrible person for being able to feel physical and emotional pain.

` I have more to say about that in my next video, which I am soon to get back to working on again today.
` I didn't do much work on it two days ago because I went to the Theo chocolate factory and got to go on their tour, and actually into the floor of their factory and the kitchen area! There were cacao nibs from the Congo which tasted like cheese, nibs from Peru that I thought tasted more like beer, a chocolate dodecahedron, and lots of confectiony goodness. I didn't see any oompa-loompas, but I did get a short video of an actual cacao tree's blossoms sprouting off the trunk. Very rare in a young tree growing in a windowless room!
` Afterwards, I got some amusing video under a certain bridge, although let's just say it's much more amusing to me than it would be to most people.

As for the second part of my amazing psychedelic article, which I had already done most of the work on before publishing Part 1... I haven't even worked on it at all since then. Sure, it's mostly-finished. How did I manage to not get back to it? I suppose that's a long story and I won't bore you with the details. But I intend to pick it back up soon.

Right after I've written a very important email, or at least started on it. It's of profound importance, but I won't be able to reveal its importance until later.

At this moment, I must get dressed, get in the car, go get some pizza and buy some other important items, such as a shower curtain to replace the one I accidentally destroyed yesterday. It's a long story. I will have more for you all very soon!